Son of a bitch, how many times does this have to happen. Please go away. I am pleading and begging. This has been going on for years. I don’t want any trace of you in my life, ever again. Stop calling, texting, playing games. You are the most toxic person in my life. Renewing contact with you reverts me into a person I have tried so hard to leave behind.
I can’t have my emotions, wellbeing, overall content life while in your merciless grip. You brought nothing but negativity. It infiltrated every pore of my being, past and present. You are simply a bad person, self centered, morally askew, emotionally psychotic. Stop trying to poison me.
Your game consists of making me feel so small that you can control every aspect of my life, talk down to me and everything I care about, making me question everything that makes me who I am. I feel so far below everyone and everything when I am in your control.
As a therapist once coerced out of me, “I hate who I am when I’m with you”. So please, give me the strength to tell you to fuck off, forget I exist, erase me from your memory and I will do the same.
You were never in this for love, it was all about control for you. I sought belonging, warm acceptance, and support; you sought power. You won. You left me feeling a way I never thought I would experience and refuse to revert back to.
Tonight, you will call while I am at dinner with my favorite man. I will be consumed with emotions, projections, assumptions, predictions when I see your missed call. After dinner, I will immediately return your call. You won’t answer and your voicemail box will be full. You will return my call at your convince, possibly drunk, you will be kind enough to fool me into thinking that you have changed, we will set up a time to meet, I will hate myself for giving in, I will dread your consumption of my mind every second there after.
This is how the game is played.